These Ties Don't Break
by GoddessofSnark
Summary: Scully goes searching for Mulder, to tell him the truth about what happened one fateful night, 5 years after he left.
1. A Picnic For One

A/N They're not mine, although I wouldn't mind having them to play with in my own twisted universe. I have to thank a friend of mine, Pat, for providing the basic inspiration for this. It's sappy, and slightly Lifetime-ish, and no aliens, as of yet. As I've only really seen the end of the first season and beginning of the second, I'm pretending that according to this, the 7th season or so, I believe it was, never happened, and there is no Dogget, and Scully never got pregnant, etc, etc. Nearly an AU here. Anyways, on with the fic!

**

He breathed in the crisp, clean mountain air, it had always been something that he loved. He continued his hike up the mountain, barely noticing the weight on his back, or the basket he was carrying. He paused just long enough to take a swig from the canteen that lay slung across his shoulder before continuing on.

He often came here to think, to clear his mind, to relax, and most commonly, to reflect. That's why he was here this time, to reflect on all that had happened. To reflect on  the life that he had left behind five years ago that day.

He found a nice large rock to sit on, and as he sat down, he slung the pack off of his back, and gently set down the wicker basket that he held in his hand. Opening the basket, he drew out a sandwich, and a bottle of wine. He pulled a small glass out of the basket as well, and poured himself a glass of the rich red drink. 

As he sat there, eating and drinking, he raised his glass in a silent toast, a toast to a life well spent. It was also a toast to the woman he would always remember, not only for stealing his heart, but also for breaking it into a million tiny pieces.

He checked his watch again, it was one of those fancy digital ones which also gave you the date. He still couldn't believe it. He still couldn't come to terms with the fact that she wasn't coming after him. He still couldn't believe what his own eyes had shown him.

He finished off half the bottle of wine, before packing things back up. He was slightly woozy, but he'd always been able to handle a few drinks, and this wasn't exactly tequila. He was all packed up, but he wasn't going to be leaving, yet.

He almost didn't trust himself in his house. There was too much there to remind him of her. And he especially did not need to be remind of her today. He should have felt guilty for all that he did. He left her stranded. But he didn't, not really.

If he had really wanted to be a bastard, he would have left when she was still sick, when she was still in a coma in the hospital. But he couldn't, he couldn't be that mean. He loved her too much. There had been others in the five years since her, but none, no one was the same as her. 

He had waited until she awoke, and then he left, packing all of his necessities,  leaving half of his things behind. He left anything that was closely related to her behind, he didn't need the memories. He had quickly gotten rid of his home, sold it to someone he never even saw. Looking back on it now, he thought it was slightly rash, but he had been so upset, it was justifiable. 

Finally, he got up, and stretched out, the alcohol beginning to die down. He was feeling more alert than he had been, and certainly well enough to trek down a not very steep hill. He slung the bag back over his shoulder, and picked up the basket again, leaving behind no trace of his picnic for one. 


	2. No Turning Back

A/N Disclaimers in part one, this is Scully's side to the deep thoughts. 

She got on the plane, looking back over Dulles airport. She couldn't believe that she was actually doing this. She couldn't believe that she was actually going after him, after all this time. Finally, after five years, she felt decent enough to go crawling back to him. 

As the plane took off, she found herself staring at the ground below. She was glad she had the window seat, it gave her more of a chance to think. A bad sci-fi movie was playing, and she couldn't help but laugh. If he were here, he'd be commenting on it. 

But he wasn't. He was at her end destination, a little airport in the middle of nowhere, Colorado. She had no clue what possessed him to move there, but she thought it probably was an overwhelming desire to go someplace where he wasn't likely to be found. 

But the FBI doesn't just forget about its agents once the tender the resignation. No, they keep close tabs on anyone who leaves the Bureau for any reason. That's how she found his address. It was apparently a small ranch, nestled into the mountains, in an area not too far from Denver.

He had opened up an investigating firm, specializing in the paranormal. And apparently, according to what she had found, was doing very well for himself. He was probably married and had a whole slew of kids. 

Instantly, she was regretting getting on the flight. What if he WAS married? What if he didn't want to see her again. She wished something would happen, turbulence, bad weather, and engine going out, that would cause the plane to have to turn around. What started as just a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach had escalated into full blown nervousness and guilt. 

She knew why she was guilty. And she knew that she shouldn't feel it, but yet, she did. She felt guilty about not explaining to him what had really happened when she got the chance. She felt guilty about not telling him her feelings for him, perhaps if she had, this whole thing could have been avoided.

But she hadn't. and what had started out by what she thought was harmless flirting to break the ice had escalated into so much more. And if he even began to learn what happened, she hoped he might change his mind about how he felt. 

But she knew that he was happy where he was. If he wasn't, he would have moved someplace else. She knew him, she knew him too well. She knew that the only place he wouldn't go was back to DC, unless he was sure that she was gone. Because he knew that she could find him wherever. 

It took just the slightest bit of effort, and she could find him. She chalked it up to how much she cared for him. He wasn't the only one heartbroken over what had happened. She was devastated. All because of one small mistake that lead to so much more. 

Her thoughts kept her so entertained throughout the flight that she didn't even realize how much time had elapsed until she spotted the "fasten seatbelts" sign flash on. As she got off of the plane, she took a breath. There would be no turning back. 


	3. On Their Way

A/N Another part! Disclaimer is in part one. It does get better, don't worry. 

He loaded up the back of his car, folding down the back seat to make room for all of the equipment. Humming as he went along, he quickly loaded the multiple large bags into his trunk, before he finally slammed the trunk down, and climbed in the front seat,   smiling. 

As he set off on the half hour drive, he found himself musing, as he often did on long drives. He couldn't help but reflect back on past cases. And as hard as he tried not too, he couldn't help but reflect on her. It happened every time he drove someplace far off. 

But he'd learned long ago, shortly after he came out here, how to control it. He flicked on the radio, and surfed through the AM stations, trying to find a weather report or sports game on. The only thing he regretted about leaving the northeast was the fact that once you passed the western edge of Pennsylvania, it was hard to find a Knicks or Yankees game. 

But baseball was baseball, and he'd put up with listening to a Rockies game, just to relax. He found it so much easier to get engrossed in the game than it was to forget about her entirely. Soon after the game ended, she invaded his thoughts again, but it was only a matter of minutes until he would find something to occupy his mind. 

It was almost an adaptation. Thinking of her, and what she did, tore him apart every time. And he couldn't go to pieces, not today. Not on such an important day. He knew that it really shouldn't count as an important day, but to him, and to the large amount of boys that would soon be following him, it was. 

He finally arrived at his destination, and pulled up at the edge of the familiar green grass. He'd been here, this weekend, for the past five years running. He forgot about the bags in his trunk as he easily flung the gate open, and set off at a trot around the gravel path that led around the grass, in between the field and the rows of bleachers behind it. 

Finally, after two laps, he retreated back to his car, and pulled the bags out, and set them up behind one metal fence. On the other side of the field, another man was doing the same. He stared at the other man, gave a friendly wave, and then quickly found his competitive nature taking over. He was guaranteed to forget about her, for the next two hours or so at least. 

***

She quickly rented a car from the kiosk inside the airport, as well as a map, and found herself driving out to the small town where he had apparently been living for the past five years. She found herself extremely nervous, as she pulled up into the town. 

She drove slowly around the town, trying to find the small street that he lived on. Almost all the houses were ranch houses, or your typical old-fashioned two story farmhouse. As she drove around,  she quickly found herself lost in the center of town.

Just as she was about to give up, an old, wizened man approached her car, and knocked on the window. She rolled it down, and looked at him. "'Scuse me ma'am, but you look like you're lost." She gave a small chuckle. "You looking for someplace?"

"Why yes, yes I am." 

"Where abouts are looking for?" She dug out the scrap of paper upon which she had written down his address. Passing it to him, he looked up with a touch of a smile, "You're looking for Will?" He asked her. 

"Will?" 

"Well, that's who lives there." At her puzzled look he continued. "But come to think of it, I don't think that's his first name. Being as I'm the only notary in town, I was present when he signed his deed, and I think he signed it something else. Also, being postmaster, I've noticed he's gotten some things addressed to an F. William." She took all of this in. He stopped using his first name. Perhaps to fit in a bit more in this little town. 

"But you know where he lives?"

"Matter of fact, I do. But you're not going to find him at home." She gave him a questioning glance.

"He's out of town. So's anyone with a teenage boy." She kept staring at him, getting him to elaborate. "Little league tournament. He's the coach." Her face fell ever so slightly. "You can't miss the field though. You take this road straight up for around half an hour, and you'll see the signs for it." She nodded, and thanked him, and set off to go to the game.


End file.
